Psstt… I Want Your Kids to Misbehave

Psst… Central Illinois photography clients, I have a secret.

I want your kids to misbehave for pictures.

Once upon a time I was photographing a family at Funks Grove when a fellow photographer who predominantly photographed seniors pulled me aside and said, “I don’t know how you do it. I cannot photograph kids.” I just looked at him and laughed as he told me stories of when he attempted to do family sessions.

The whole time I was listening to his stories I just kept thinking about how stressed out those clients must’ve been with him.

As a parent I know how it is to want your kids to be on their “best behavior.” You want them to stay clean, be efficient, happy, give real smiles, stay focused and on task, and be respectful of my time or yours.

But here’s the truth… I don’t want that at all.

I know that sounds insane, but it’s completely true! I want your kids to “misbehave” during their photo session with me!

I want them to run away from you when you ask them to come here.

I want them to be silly with their siblings and make funny faces.

I want them to take off their shoes and socks and spin in circles.

I want them to play peek-a-boo and get in their little sisters face mid-portrait.

I want them to be shy and hide behind their daddy’s leg.

I want them to refuse to be held by anyone but mommy.

I want them to play in the dirt and laugh about boogers and farts.

I want to hear their ridiculous stories and watch them pick flowers.

I want them to get distracted and be as loud or as quiet as they want to be.

Why? BECAUSE…

1.) WHO YOUR CHILD IS RIGHT NOW IS BEAUTIFUL.

2.) every single thing about this season of you and your child’s life deserves to be remembered.

All day long our kids have to mute who they are. They have to be quiet, sit still, raise their hand to speak, listen and obey. Often times they come second to things like dishes, lesson plans, laundry, grocery shopping, important conversations, emails, social media, phone calls, or whatever task is up next on the schedule. Whether they know it or not, kids long to be free of this. And my suspicion is, grown-ups do too.

Which is why I want your session to be a reprieve from all of this. An environment of not just rest but play and pleasure. No anxiety, no phones, no expectations from others, no pressures from work, no ruminating on past failures or thinking about all the chores waiting for you at home. I want you to be present as fully yourselves.

Let me fill your cup. Let me see you, your child, your relationship. Let me take the weight of the world from your shoulders for just a minute so you can breathe and see the beauty right in front of you.

gratitude vs. fantasy

For years now I’ve pinned “wholistic photography” as my specialty. I did this because I recognize that in almost every area of our lives we are disconnected from others and ourselves. Due to the expectations of the society we live in, very rarely do we enter an environment where we can show up as fully ourselves.

We are constantly being asked to set aside our thoughts and feelings. So many places ask us to suppress our trauma, silence our opinions, ignore our anxiety, overcome our depression, and for pete’s sake, do NOT ask our questions. If we are neurodivergent we must mask ourselves to become neurotypical. Our needs only matter if they don’t inconvenience others.

But, not here… not with me.

Your session with me isn’t just pictures, its an experience. It’s a designated space and time for you, as a family, as a couple, as a parent, as a human to attune to yourself and to each other. It’s an intentional time of mindfulness and gratitude.

Scientists and psychologists have been preaching about the widespread benefits of practicing gratitude for quite some time now (link). But, there’s a fine line between gratitude and fantasy.

Gratitude acknowledges both the hard and the easy, the heavens and the hells, in any given season and gives both proper consideration and weight.

Fantasy ignores or minimizes the hard and focuses on the easy or good parts.

When you look at your images, I don’t want you to see some fantasy version of yourselves or your kids that you desire to or felt pressured to project out into the world.

I want the images to be real. they should be genuine, honest, true, sincere.

Because the truth is… life, with or without kids, is never all cupcakes and rainbows. Each and every season comes with its heavens and its hells, pleasure and pain. At times the daily grind of parenthood feels like running one ultra-marathon after another with no training or preparation. Each stage—infant, toddler, preschooler, the primary years, tweens, teens, and beyond— new surprises and new challenges arise.

Some moments you feel really connected and your kids feel super cooperative and you feel hopeful, excited, and confident. And then there’s other moments where every ounce of patience, every parenting skill you have and then some are being FULLY taxed and you feel as though you are completely failing. Each step feels uncertain and unsteady. Your bones are exhausted and exasperated. We long for easier days… orrrrrrr even just bed time.

But as all parents know, the paradox of this relationship is, as soon as they are asleep and you pull up social media and your “memories” pop-up and you see that one video or that one photo of them during that one season, your heart explodes and you a reminded, none of this lasts forever.

But see, that’s the power of pictures.

Photograph’s are there to transport us back to a different time and place. When you look at your images, I hope you are bombarded with a myriad of sensations. I hope you can taste, touch, smell, feel, and hear everything about your life in this moment.

What a shame it would be to look back on photograph’s that project something that never actually existed.